Remembering loved ones past and present at weddings

Some thoughtful comments and lovely prayers from ‘Because God Calls’ here. Big family occasions always have people missing, and it’s important to find ways of honouring both their absence and their ongoing presence in the life of the families concerned.

ramtopsrac's avatarRamtopsrac Creations

Registering my first wedding in the Bolton Chapel of St. Mary's Old Basing. Photograph: Tarran Patterson Registering my first wedding in the Bolton Chapel of St. Mary’s Old Basing. Photograph: Tarran Patterson

One of the joys of this summer is to have presided at my first weddings.

The first was the fulfilment of a prophesy, at least for me, as having a vision of me officiating at my first wedding had been one clergy friend’s encouragement for me to seek selection for ordination! I am most grateful to Tarran Patterson, the photographer on the occasion, for snapping the photo here as I completed the registers without me being aware of it at all, so that I have a visual memory of the occasion. We are blessed at Old Basing with room for official photographers to take a few photos during the ceremony without intruding into proceedings at all, and she managed to do that brilliantly, which was a gift to a rooky priest.

Tomorrow’s wedding will be my…

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Dedication of pew bibles

If you’ve got some lovely new pew bibles to dedicate, why not do what Kat Campion-Spall did and re-work the collect for Bible Sunday for the dedication?

Blessed are you, Lord God,
for you have caused all Holy Scriptures to be written for our learning.
We now dedicate these Bibles in your service and to your glory.
Pour out your blessing on all that read them,
that through them your Word may be revealed.
Grant all who use them so to hear, read, mark, and inwardly digest them,
that, by patience and comfort of your holy Word,
they may embrace and for ever hold fast the hope of everlasting life,
which you have given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.

Archive note: this prayer is archived under OTHER OCCASIONS> Dedication of objects

Mothering Sunday extended proper preface

I think this is legal; anyway, it’s only a slight tinkering with the Common Worship version of the Song of St Anselm. The / marks are where you’d have your first change of note if you’re chanting it. 

All glory and honour be yours always / and ev’ry where:
loving cre/ator, ever living God.
For like a mother you gather your peo/ple to you:
longing to gather us in your arms, as chicks are /gathered to the mother hen.
For you weep over our sins / and our pride:
Tenderly drawing us from hatred and judgement into the /warmth of your embrace.
For you comfort us in sorrow and bind /up our wounds:
in sickness you nurse us, and / with pure milk you feed us.
Your warmth gives life / to the dead:
your healing / touch makes sinners righteous.
In your compassion bring grace / and forgiveness:
for the beauty of heaven / may your love prepare us.
Your family on earth now lifts our voice to join with the fami/ly of heaven:
ever / praising you and singing:

[continue with Sanctus]

Archive note:
LENT, HOLY WEEK & EASTER > Mothering Sunday

Mothering Sunday

Here’s a preface for Mothering Sunday, suitable for use with Additional Eucharistic Prayer two:

You made us to love and be loved,
to care for one another in good times and in bad,
and to live as your children on earth
until you welcome us home in heaven.

Archive note: This has been archived in two places
1. LENT, HOLY WEEK & EASTER > Mothering Sunday
2. ALL AGE RESOURCES > Children and the Eucharist

Ash Wednesday – form of interactive confession for school worship

This idea, originally from Revd Sonia Falaschi-Ray, may be used in school collective worship on Ash Wednesday:
As a form of confession, the children are invited to suggest sins that they would like to see the back of – they may be anything from personal  to global.  Each suggestion may be explained/explored etc a little, then is written on a red piece of paper and put into a large bin labeled ‘sin bin’ with these words:
Leader: We bin this sin.
All: We bin this sin.
The bin and some spare red papers may be left in school for the whole of Lent, to enable children to add to it if they wish.

Archive note:
This idea is archived under the LENT, HOLY WEEK and EASTER tab, on the Ash Wednesday page.

Flower and Water Prayers

Draw a flower template (about palm-sized) on a piece of paper. The petals should not be longer than the diameter of the central circle of the flower. Cut out the flower. Write or draw a prayer onto one side of it, and then fold the petals in so that they overlap each other. Make sure the creases are really sharp. Now float your folded flower in water and it will open, revealing your prayer in a rather beautiful and cool way.

This idea can work any time, but might be particularly appropriate on Mothering Sunday (you could make the flowers on yellow paper) or on Remembrance Sunday (you could make the flowers on red paper).

Archive note:
This idea is archived under the ALL AGE tab, on the Child-friendly intercessions page.

Hymns for Mothering Sunday

All our blessings
Tune: All things bright and beautiful

All our blessings, all our joys
With thankful hearts we sing,
Lord of life and Lord of love,
Accept the praise we bring.

For parents and for children,
For husbands, wives, and friends,
For those whose care enfolds us
With love that never ends.

For fellowship and friendship
We both receive and give,
For those who’ve shared our journey
And taught us how to live.

For all who’ve shared our sorrow,
Walked with us in our pain,
Who’ve held our hand through darkness
And showed us light again.

In sacrifice and service
Your love is clearly shown,

Your outstretched arms embrace us
to bring us safely home.

For those who give us life and breath
Tune: O Waly Waly

For those who gave us life and breath,
For love that’s stronger far than death,
Today we bring our thankful hearts,
For all a mothering love imparts.

For kindness, patience, warmth and care,
For each embrace, each smile, each tear,
Each word of peace, each healing touch,
These simple gifts which mean so much.

We look to you, our mothering Lord,
Who shows love’s cost, and love’s reward,
Your passion fiercer than the grave,
Nailed to the world you came to save.

So teach your people how to live,
How to endure, how to forgive,
Teach us to trust, to sacrifice,
To share the love that has no price.

Archive note:
These hymns are archived under the LENT, HOLY WEEK & EASTER tab, on the Mothering Sunday page.

New Hymns for Weddings

During a facebook conversation lamenting the over-use of All Things Bright and Beautiful at weddings (and indeed, at baptisms and funerals) a slightly tongue-in-cheek challenge was issued.  Two new hymns resulted. This is the first one, and it goes to ‘Lord of the dance’:

Love, faith and hope are free
to all who live abundantly,
So lead us, Lord, wherever we may be
in the dance of life for eternity.

The gift of love is a powerful thing,
Blessed and worn in a golden ring,
The vows are the binding of our lives,
words for all that the heart believes.

The gift of faith is the gift of care,
The words that say, “I will always be there.”
For better, for worse, in joy and pain,
faith brings love to life again.

The gift of hope is a burning fire,
a beacon to follow that will never ever tire,
A lamp to guide us in the darkest night,
and show us the path that leads to light.

oOoOoOoOoOo

This one goes to the tune ‘All things bright and beautiful’

Bless this sacred moment
with your greatest gift of love,
Bring us ever closer
to the joy of heaven above.

All future growth and flowering
are rooted in our past:
two lives entwined together
in promises that last.

Lord, make us more forgiving
to those who do us wrong,
give patience and endurance
and peace our whole life long.

The care of those around us,
our families and friends,
uphold us and inspire us
to love that never ends.

A ring to seal the promise,
A kiss to touch the heart,
A prayer to know the blessing
that you alone impart.

Archive note:
These hymns are archived under the BAPTISM, WEDDING and FUNERAL tab, on the Weddings & renewals of vows page

Baptism Prayer Ideas

Praying at Christenings – two ideas to involve the family and friends.

Christenings – whether they are in the main church services or separately – always involve a time of prayer for the child, and for their parents and godparents. Many people aren’t sure what sort of thing should be included in a prayer, especially if they don’t pray regularly themselves, but one thing that everyone has in common when they come to a christening is that they are part of a gathering in which there is a huge amount of goodwill focused on one person: the child who is being christened. There is often talk of christening being the start of a journey, so people will also be thinking about the future, and the potential of the child in their midst – the kind of person they will grow up to be, the kind of world they will grow up living in, and the life they will lead.

Here are two ways to harness this goodwill and these hopes, fears, and dreams, into prayer that can be part of the christening service itself, and have a lasting and wider impact afterwards.

A Parents’ Prayer

When you visit the family, don’t be afraid to talk about prayer – try and make connections between the promise to pray that they will make in the service and the hopes and dreams and thanksgivings and fears that all new (and not-so-new) parents have when they think about their children.  Invite the parents to work together to come up with either a fully-worked out prayer, or some key words or phrases that you can help them fashion into a prayer.

These prompts may be helpful:

When I think about…. [name of child]
I am thankful for……..
I hope for………..
I worry about………
I desire more than anything…………

Baptism personal prayer for websiteAlso ask the parents to send you a photo of their child.  Once the prayer is finalised, use it, together with the photograph, the name of the child, and the date and place of the baptism, make it look attractive, and put it in a frame (about A6 size works well) so that you can present it to them on the day. Many families will keep this as a treasured possession, display it in their home, and even ask for more copies to send to godparents and grandparents.

  • If you save it as a jpeg and email it to the parents they can share it on social media.
  • You could also use it on a baptism anniversary card
  • How about printing out enough copies on paper (without the frame!) for the family and friends who have come to the christening?
  • If you get a chance to meet the godparents in advance of the service, you could invite them to write a prayer too.
  • You can use prayers written by parents or godparents in the christening itself – they may wish to read them out, or they may prefer the vicar to do it!

A Friends’ Prayer

At a christening there may be dozens of others, not just godparents, but wider family, friends and neighbours, who all have one thing in common: they have come to church to celebrate the life of a child, to be part of something, and to wish that child well.  This goodwill and presence is an immense gift.  How can it be ‘harnessed’ and enfolded prayerfully both in the service and beyond?

Here are a couple of ways you could enable all those who come to a christening to be involved, to contribute their own prayers and hopes:

  • stick a post-it note onto each order of service, and leave pencils in the pews, and invite people (at some point in the service) to write just one word on their post it note, expressing their prayer or hope for the child being baptised. You can ask them to leave their post-it note on the service sheet, and peel them off after the service, or you could gather them in at some point during the liturgy. If your church is well resourced you might even be able to afford ‘posh’ post-it notes (a nice colour, an interesting and appropriate shape etc).
  • Have a graffiti board as people come in (or as they go out, or both) inviting one-word hopes and prayers.

You may get multiple copies of ‘peace’ ‘love’ ‘friends’ ‘happiness’ ‘laughter’ etc, and that’s ok.  People don’t have to write something different from everyone else, they should be encouraged to write whatever feels most important. They can write several contributions if they like – but each should be one word long.

Baptism tag cloud - doveHowever you collect the words, it’s what you do with them after the service that makes this into something beautiful.  Go towww.tagxedo.com or a similar site and type in the words (include each word as many times as it was contributed – if 25 people all wrote ‘love’ then type it in 25 times!), then simply click to create a beautiful piece of word-art that is a prayer for the child written collectively by the whole gathering on the day.  On most tag-cloud creation sites you can configure colours, shapes, fonts etc.

  • If you save it as a jpeg, you can email it to the family and invite them to share it on social media or email it round to their friends who came on the day.
  • The illustration above is just a sample – when creating this for a real child, you could also type in their name (multiple times) so that it is featured in the finished piece of word art, to make it even more personal.
  • Again, you could keep the jpeg and send it to the family for the anniversary of the baptism, and encourage them to share it on social media.
  • The tag clouds don’t include photos, so an album of them could be kept in church without anyone having to worry about the child protection issues around keeping or displaying photographs of children.

Because these ideas involve computers and websites, it may be that you know a teenager who would like to make them for you, as their ministry….  They may have more ideas about how to create something beautiful as a lasting and net-share-able gift for those who come to church for baptism.

Archive note:
These ideas are archived under the BAPTISM, WEDDINGS & FUNERALS tab on the baptism christenings & thanksgivings page.

Short preface for AEP2 (Candlemas-flavoured)

We’re allowed to write our own little prefaces for the second Additional Eucharistic Prayer (for use when significant numbers of children are present). Here’s one for Candlemas, and there are more here.

You give us Jesus, the light of the world,
to gather up the hopes and fears of all the years,
and to make all your promises come true.